Ok here goes - this is my version of the marriage bed ceremony...


It was the 10th day of Nisan and Babylon was being its usual sleazy self, particularly in the courtesan district. Black haired ladies were tending to their male pleasuring duties but all else seemed breathless with anticipation at Marduk's imminent return. The Lord was returning victorious from battle with Tiamat, a nasty piece of work at that, and he had a terrible hangover from the celebration held in his honor at Eridu in his father's house. O yes, Enki and Ningishzidda had plied him with enough good ale to last many godly lifetimes, not to mention the erotic dreamy bath he had at Kishra Etana's courtyard as well...

Now there was going to be the annual marriage bed ceremony and he didnt feel like getting up real close with Ishtar who was a bit on the masculine side for a goddess. She was a fighter and she ate men like they were breakfast. No sooner would she have a lover, the next one would come along. No way was he going to be on her list of past conquests. But the difficulty was that there was no priestess available to perform the ceremony with Zog the king, and the king was off somewhere incognito. The priestesses had also taken a vow to be celibate for a whole year so the only way to secure fecundity for his people was to do it himself in secret with Ishtar. "Musn't let the people know that he and Ishtar were going to do it for real. Cant have a respectable god parading around like that with a floosey - its too below his godly status. And didnt the people know that he and Ishtar were rivals and that she already seduced his father and brothers?", he mused.

Thinking thus, Marduk arrived in the city with great fanfare and headed a long procession which culminated at the Esagila. Crowds of well wishers littered the streets with flower petals and shouts of victory. All the while feeling quite seedy, Marduk soon after retired to his residence in the Bit Akitu to sleep it off.

The following day there was another festival in the great hall but invitation was only for gods and aristocrats. Entertainers arrived and dramatised a grand representation of the battle with Tiamat. This made Marduk very happy for one reason. There was a greek actor in the troupe which looked similiar in appearance to him. Not as muscular or handsome as himself, but hey, nobody's perfect... "All praise be to Anu!", cried Marduk in relief. Here was a witless ponce who could take his place and do his bidding. "Let Ishtar lump that!, the silly old cow"...

Having decked out and instructed the substitute in godly mannerisms, Marduk sent him on his way to the gigunu's sacred chamber that evening to await Ishtar's arrival. It was very dark inside the chamber with incense filling the room. A dark shadow was sprawled out on the sacred couch through the silk curtains and the serf moved to embrace that form lavishing kisses on the figure's lips and body. The sound of the newcomer's moans and aaahhhhs filled the chamber, then the mysterious splayed out figure sat bolt upright and sprang away from the couch. Reaching for a lighted candle in the ante-chamber, the figure returned and almost fainted from the horror of it all.

It was king Zog! He had gone and lain there hoping to be united with Ishtar but instead there was some little dorky ponce disguised as Marduk, his great god, pawing away at him. O No! The marriage bed ceremony was ruined! And so would be his reputation if this got out! Both males looked at each other in amaze at the luducrist situation. There was nothing to do till morning except have a drink of wine together and hide the fact from the people that the ceremony didnt take place.

In the meantime, Ishtar had found out Marduk's plan after hearing a report about his silly cow comments. That made her mad! Sending out her spies, they had located King Zog and lulled him into Ishtar's bed with the promise of the goddess's loving embraces. She wanted to foil Marduk's plan and make the god a laughing stock of Babylon. And it worked! All the gods knew about it and cracked up with laughter. A sexy goddess, the favorite of Anu, will always get her own way and now Marduk is like a chastened little puppy in her hands. Oh the pain of it all! Sniff! The thought of next year's impending marriage bed ceremony is just too much to bear for our poor ol unfortunate Marduk...what to think of poor king Zog at the mercy of the gods! And the ponce, what after became of him? Well I'll leave that up to your own imagination, but rumour has it that he defected to Germania and is hiding out at Elenwe Yngling's pad seeking the protection of battle hardened warriors and atonening for his sins...

Hope you enjoyed it...