I listen to the tale laid out by my wayward wife already knowing full well the true story behind her disappearence.

1/ She took two Camels. Sold one to Honest Achmed the Used Camel Dealer, and that Camel grazing near the Date-Palms looks a lot like Chloe the other missing Beast.

2/ She sold the Jewel to Sehkmet The Snake in Thieves Alley in Alexandria.

3/ One of my Police Officers saw her leaving Alexandria on a Camel........ALONE!

After listening to her explanations and making all of the proper remarks and sounds of concern, I ask her how many kidnappers were there? There must have been quite a number to both kidnap you and rob me blind!

Alli takes a step closer to me, I back up and fan the air betwee us and remark: With all due respect my dear you smell like the south-end of a north bound herd of Goats! What have you been doing? I dare say it hasn't been bathing.

I then take a pair of chained manacles and clamping one manacle on Alli's wrist and the other on my ownI pull her toward the entrance of the bar telling her: I have a thirst, I'll damppen it while I decide what is to be done with you. Almost having to drag her I enter the murky looking bar.

I take one look inside and remark: YE GODS!!!!