The only member of the crew who still appeared cheerful was the ship’s cook, Radagast. A last-minute recruit, he’d busied himself prying into every nook and cranny of the hold for possible food and shown creativity with ship’s cuisine. They’d already done "rat chops in garum" and "shark a la Apicius." A useful man aboard, even if he DID walk with a limp, have a reptilian cast in one eye, and say things like “Shiver me timbers” and “Avast there!” He had struck up a strong friendship with the Thuggery and was great at rope tricks.

Things were coming to a crisis - time for an Auguration and divine aid. Killing two birds with one stone, it was time to decipher Antice’s cryptic message. Thus, on a calm night halfway through the dog watches (or, in this case, Pig watches - Pomponia had, at the point of a pilum , thus far kept her pig from a fate worse than pork chops) the entire complement of the Polaris gathered on deck. Pomponia had doffed her antler head-gear and was attired in chic tiger skins with scarab trim. She held a knife; the last goose, resigned, lay bound for sacrifice, strapped down on a large plate decorated with runes presented by Thiu in a internationally helpful spirit. Next to the goose lay (1) the ransom rock (2) Anticus’ message and map, retrieved from the amphora and (3) the magnificent black pearl, gleaming dully in the flickering lamp light.]

Pomponia: OK, everybody join hands. Any last requests before I do the goose?

Fabia: [bravely] Well, if we gotta go, at least we can go like gourmets. Goose a l’orange for everybody tomorrow!

Pomponia: OK, kids, lets let ‘er rip!

[The sedated goose bit the dust and there was a disgusting bloody pause while Pomponia delved in the entrails, looking like Julia Child on drugs. Finally she looked up with a puzzled look.]

Pomponia: Well, as far as I can make out, it says something about the second star from the left and help “sprung from the sea.” Although how I got that from a bunch of fowl innards, don't ask. Any ideas?

Fabia: The Venus Throw!

Festus: No time for craps, Fabia, this is serious .

Corny: No, I see what she means! Venus - our patroness! - sprung from the sea!! Senex, grab your spyglass - check out that second star to the left!



[Sure enough, a quick look revealed Venus herself, perched doucely in mid-air just past the forepeak. She was wearing an aquamarine feather boa and filing her nails - Skyros gave a moan of envy. The Divine One yawned with infinite grace and undulated toward the center of the vessel, the Rostrafarians falling back in awed obeisance on either side. ]

Venus: Hello, dears - I know Athena’s your main touch, but I’m filling in during the summer hols. We thought you’d be calling on me right about now! Now, where shall I begin? I’m in the giving vein today, but keep it snappy.

Senex [prostrated]: Most divine one! We have three small requests! We have a rock, which we cannot understand. We have a message from the amphora, which we cannot understand. And we have a pearl, the meaning of which - well, you get the picture!

Venus: [giving the rock a once-over] Hmmm. Well, this is simple enough. I was rather good at Sanskrit, no matter what Athena says, the bitch. It’s from someone named Odeanathus. It says Anticus and Tyla will be released in return for information!

[The group looked blankly at each other while Radagast and the Thuggery looked thoughtful.]

Festus: What information??

Venus: It says if you'll get hold of the fatal pignus, they’ll release Anticus. See - right there - next to the broken bits!

[All eyes swiveled menacingly to the pig, Sooi, grunting quietly on deck. Pomponia stiffened.]

Pomponia: [fiercely] Now, look here, that says pignus , not PIGnus. What kind of illiterates am I dealing with, here? Any educated Roman could tell you what fatale pignus means - it’s the pledge of Rome’s fate, the gods’ promise to guard Rome as long as certain conditions are met!

Skyros: Um, ‘scuse me Divinity, but I’m not following, here. Can you clarify that?

Venus [looking at her wristwatch]: The gods help those that help themselves, dears. Now, next item is that message Anticus sent, right?

Cornellia: Here it is, Lady! It arrived with a map and a pearl - but we can’t translate the code.

Venus: I’ve got a hair appointment in 10, so I really must rush. OK, the meaning of the pearl’s obvious - you lot ARE dim, aren't you? Pearls come from - where?!

Festus: Um - oysters?

Portia: Tiffany’s?

Barb: My Uncle Popocatapetl?

Venus [patiently]: In our world, pearls come from TYLA - in Arabia. This shows you the message is really from your boy. He’s passing as a pearl merchant, I suspect. Now, as for the map, let’s try a little logic. You see it shows where Thracia, Macedonia, Bithynia, and Mysia meet. Now surely, you can figure out what that suggests without a copy of Strabo?

Senex: Um . . . do you mean the pearl says where Anticus came FROM, and the map said where he was going TO when he got pinched?

Venus [with satisfaction]: Full marks! If I were you, I’d figure out what major Roman town on that map would be a draw for Tylan pearl-merchant.

Cornellia: [scrutinizing the map] Philadelphia? Byzantium? Sardis?

Venus [cringing] This is like a bad replay of “Jeopardy”. Enough!

Portia: [wailing] But what about the coded message?

Venus: Oh, that’s easy. Don’t you lot know your HTML, for Olympus’ sake? Subtract that font command, and what have you got?

Priapus [reading slowly]: In haste - kidnapped - warn Severus - fatale pignus [there’s that demmed pig again!] - negative Aenaes; Lysimachos in Pergamon! Vade mecum - F.

All [ chorusing] : PHI - in PERGAMON?!

[At the name of PHI a shiver of horror ran through the assembled party. Venus, smiling, stuck her hand in mid-air and rapped out something in Olympian. Instantly, V cherubs arrived, bearing sandwiches and a large amphora. Dropping the platter, they smartly gave a joint puff of wind which stirred the slack sails of the Polaris , which began moving briskly in a new direction. They then vanished, while Venus herself began slowly to disappear, feet first.]

Venus: I’ve done my best for you, brave mortals. You’re looking for a pearl merchant, who disappeared somewhere near Pergamon and was kidnapped by Odeanathus in return for info vital to Rome’s fate. The rest is up to you! BTW, don’t call me 'til the Lupercalia, I’ll be in Cozumel with Mars! [She vanished with a final wave of the boa.]

Senex: Well? What now?

Pomponia: The ship’s moving by itself! I suspect those cherub laddies know EXACTLY how to find the isle of Lesbos, and from there we can go overland to Pergamon!! That really does have to rank as my best augury to date - I’ll have to notify the college for extra credit.

Aulus: Food, wine, wind in the right direction - now all we have to do is figure out this pig thing!

[And so, dear reader, our friends, with an increased respect for augury, headed below decks, leaving the watch in charge - along with the ship’s cook, Radagast, standing hidden in the stern. In the lampless dark, his look of helpful manliness had quite vanished. In fact, he was grinning wolfishly. More, he was laughing softly, as at a huge private joke . . .

Meanwhile, upon Venus’ departure, Mercury, hovering in mid-air with a mischievous grin, started blowing, not northeast, but south . . .