Decius was shoving items into a travelling bag when there was a tap on the door. "Just leave it there!" he called.

"Excuse me, my son." Decius whirled and found himself facing Fabianus, Bishop of Rome.

"How did you get in here?"

"I'd rather not say. But I think we need to talk." The Pope paused in the doorway. The Vicar waved him in.

"Well, have a seat. Isn't it rather risky for you to be here?"

"Hm, not particularly," Fabianus said amiably. "Who would look for an outlawed religious leader in the home of the imperial government's senior official in Rome?" Decius had to laugh.

"Well, that's probably true," he agreed. "So what brings you here?"

"Why, you, my son, of course." The bishop crossed the room and seated himself on the edge of the sleeping couch as Decius continued to pack items. Fabianus craned his neck to observe. "Why do you roll your tunics that way?" he asked curiously.

"Keeps them from wrinkling while travelling." The Vicar paused. "So… what did you need to see me about?" he prodded impatiently.

"Peace, my son," Fabianus said, raising his hands in a calming gesture. "You are going after Maria, I assume."

"How did you guess that?" Decius was visibly surprised. "Most people would not understand. It's not… very Roman, really."

"No, if you limit the definition of 'Roman' to those who follow that old stoic, not particularly caring tradition. But you are a Roman Citizen, and you understand what it is to care, to love. Does that really make you less Roman?" Fabian folded his hands. "I understand why you feel as you do. But have you thought through all the possible repercussions of your decision?"

"To Maria and me?" Decius rubbed the stubble on his cheek in thought. "I think so. I could certainly die, or be tortured, or imprisoned. The likelihood of my successfully retrieving Maria is not so good, even if Maximinus is overthrown. And Maria would be at risk of the same fates if I fail. Even if he is defeated by Gordian he would still be dangerous in defeat." He sighed, and began to search for his razor in order to have a last shave before he left. "But I have to try."

"That is not precisely what I meant, although it is good you are aware of the risks you both will face. But have you considered what giving up your office will mean for our brothers and sisters of the faith here in Rome?"

"Ah. Our bargain, you mean? It is true that the Circumcellions have been less trouble of late, and yet I've not managed to keep my side of the deal other than preventing an all-our persecution." He frowned. "I really don't like that," Decius continued. "I try very hard to be a man of my word."

"Most of those poor misguided souls have been reconciled to the Church, although I believe a few chose to leave Rome for Africa," Fabianus told him. "But did it occur to you that by giving up your high office you also give up your ability to protect our brothers and sisters? Your efforts have not gone unnoticed."

"So that is why you are here," Decius said with a tone of dawning enlightenment. "You want me to keep my office."

"No," Fabianus said. "I considered it. But it seems to me that asking you to continue to hold office and not to go after Maria would be to ask you to do evil for the possibility of good, and that would be sinful. For while we aren't all Circumcellions seeking to die we Christians should not fear death. After all, our Lord told us 'if any man shall keep my word, he shall not taste death without end."

"I did consider that," Decius told him. "But—" The bishop put up a hand.

"If you believe you should go after Maria, having considered what the results of your actions will be, then you should go."

"Perhaps I should appoint you as my vicar when I leave," Decius said with deliberate humor. "I can appoint whom I like, after all."

"God forbid!" Fabianus laughed. "I am Vicar of Peter already, my son, and Bishop of Rome. I'm supposed to be a religious leader, not some sort of head of government!" The Bishop became more serious. "My son, what do you plan to do with Maria if you succeed in finding her?" he asked.

"What do I plan to do? I had not really considered it much, since the odds aren’t good." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I should like to marry her," he admitted. "It would go against society, but I do not wish to take honor away from her. Although by sleeping with her I suppose some might say I have already done that."

"What are your thoughts on the Gospels? You have read the texts. What do you think about it all?"

"I have read parts of the Hebrew holy book," Decius responded slowly. "And much there seems to show an angry and arbitrary deity. I find some of the tales hard to reconcile with the texts on Jesus. I find the teachings of Jesus, on the other hand, to be sensible if hard to practice. The notion of God becoming flesh in the Son and then returning to heaven is not particularly more difficult to accept than the notion that Hercules, for example, was the son of Zeus and later ascended to godhood. Jesus, at least, is far more worthy of divinity."

"Jesus did not become divine. He always was." Fabianus followed this statement with a dismissive wave. "But that sort of debate is for Greeks, not Romans. To be blunt, my son, I am worried you will die unbaptised." Decius was nonplussed.

"I'd not quite considered that. I've done many things I'm not so proud of, and to have my sins cleansed would be… a relief, in an odd way. But if I continue with my plans I may kill men, or commit other… sins." He said the last word as if the concept was a new thought for him.

"Hm. It is good that you have concerns, but you need not fear," Fabianus reassured him. "First of all, my son, you have not formed the fixed intention of sinning. Your intention is to save the life of someone you hold dear. God looks at our deeds, but he also looks in our hearts to see why we do the things we do.

"Ah," Decius murmurred. "There must be mens rea as well as actus reus?"

"Quite so."

"Then… do it. Baptize me."

"Very well." Fabianus looked around the room and eventually settled on a shallow bowl that had been set out for the Vicar to shave with; it was as yet unused. He lifted it and poured a small amount of water over Decius' head. Then, using his thumb, the bishop marked the sign of the cross on Decius' forehead. "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I baptise you, Decius Aemilius Scaurus."


At dawn Decius rode out alone, heading north. Somehow he wasn't surprised to find Fabianus waiting near the city gate. Decius halted. "Don’t tell me you want to come along?" he asked.

"No. My place is here. But I came to wish you well. I also came to give you this." The bishop handed him a stylized metal fish on a chain. Decius looked at it oddly.

"Am I supposed to brand this on the back of my horse or something?"

"Oh my no!" Fabianus was flabberghasted. "Just keep it. As a symbol of our faith."

"Thank you. You are welcome to stay in my home, you know. As you pointed out, it would not be expected."

"Hm, thank you, but I will decline. Things may be a bit too exciting within the city walls. If you succeed, look for me on the Vatican."

"The cemetary?" Decius was momentarily alarmed.

"Oh, I have no plans to die just yet. But I happen to like it there. It's restful."

"Ah. Well, take care, then."

"God be with you in your quest, my son." As the bishop raised a hand either in parting or benediction, Decius spurred his horse on and continued on his way. It was a long road and an uncertain path he set on. But he felt oddly hopeful as he started out.