... my cousin in Shanghai suggested I holiday in England. Arriving by steamship to Lands End, I made my way east to London performing numerous dissections on stray cats and dogs, a rather enjoyable vivisection on a tax collector, and...

... And then I proceeded north on a whim, discovering your excellent town with many happily depressed people. I should fit in quite nicely.

By the way, be wary around Maosee Tung, my nine foot long Komodo Dragon. Though his bite isn't poisonous, he has been known to clamp down on knees when people lean down to pet him. Be advised I let him eat who he catches, so keep your children and mistresses locked up.