I have been following the hounds closely, leading me to a boat tied up the shore. It took me to an island…where I face another frustrating wee prospect.

Literally. Wee. It’s the harpist.

“Who are you to come here and disturb me?” says the little man, as he shakes his tiny fist at me. He’s no bigger than a Brownie! For a moment my mind lingered to my dagger and speculate whether slitting throats are as easy as butchering fishes. I have come this far, I was hungry (no babies, no feast!), I was annoyed and now this…

But I kept my head about me. I just have to remember the babies. I explained through gritted teeth what had happened and politely asked for help.

“Well, I’ll gladly aid you then, for once when I was playing at Aine’s Court in Munster, a cat mistook me for a mouse and chased me for hours!”

Oh, surprise surprise! How could one possibly mistook him for a mouse? At this moment I wonder why Irusan didn’t give me the honor of eating him up at that time.

I have no choice. I’m stuck with him. Together we made our way to the lair where Irusan is. I can’t say I’m optimistic when I saw the place. It was heavily guarded by cats the size of bulls! Why can’t they stay cute like the Persian cats sold in the Agora?

“Irusan’s wife sure has an exquisite taste when it comes to interior designing!” I whispered while we were hiding behind some foliage. We were looking at Irusan’s lair. The lair’s entrance was welcomingly decorated with bones.

The harpist raised an eyebrow. “Roman humor?”

“I’m Greek.”

“Ah. Of course. And how do the Greeks face dillemas like this?”

“We don’t. Our Gods and Goddesses have their dramas just like us Greeks, worse dramas in fact, what’s with having this son out of that woman and having, oh, the life of our deities are so complicated so making fun of them is no big deal. It helps that we don’t have a cat as one of our deities so we can make fun of cats freely. Or any other animal, for that matter.”

“I thought your Dionysus was a bull?”

“Half bull. In some sculptures anyway. Some depict him as full human. And he doesn’t sweep down on you when you make fun of bulls so our bulls have a hard time. None to stand up for their rights. Besides, he’s the God of wine and debauchery.”

“A deity…of wine. And debauchery.” The harpist shook his head. “Fascinating.”

“Sans the sarcasm, dear harpist.” I was trying to think of a way to elude those guards. I cannot possibly fight those cats with just a dagger! I have to enter without a fight. “You...get into my pocket now.”

He protested. Can’t he stayed on my shoulder instead? I told him I would be doing a lot of running and dodging, so if he wishes to be blown away mercilessly he could stay where he was. I grabbed him anyway and shoved him in one of my pockets but not without protest. I had just learnt the wonderful languages of Celts curses. So much for being a demure harpist!

I was not a great fighter, but I was able. I know I could not defeat them all at once so I have to calculate my moves. I need a sword too, a dagger with these lot wouldn’t mean anything. I already have a plan.

From my point, I could see two rocks spaced roughly within short running distance of each. I could run to each on my way to the entrance. This would have been easier have it not been for the fact that those cats need to be eliminated or distracted if I wanted a safe entry.

The cats must be so confident of their prowess because they were obviously being careless about security. I don’t blame them. They might be careless but there is still no way one could go near that entrance without being seen. But I have observed that they tend to walk to and fro in only ONE DIRECTION and that too, they do together. That means that the moment they walk towards the entrance (which will take them 10 of their giant steps usually) I could run quickly to the nearest rock.

The moment came and I run as quietly as I could to the nearest rock. Before reaching the rock, I dropped a coin close to where I would be hiding. Now, it’s only a matter of time.

And sure enough not long after they walked again towards us, in three’s this time. My calculation was indeed right. The one closest to me, I have observed before, tends to walk slower than the other two. So by the time they were already halfway to the other side, he had just arrived at that point. He spotted the coin, and bent to observe it. At that moment, I slit his leg. He fell in pain but stunned to silence. Before he could make any noise, I stab (yes, STAB) his throat and pulled him towards the rock with all my might before any thuds could be heard. Now…is the time to run to the next rock. For security, I decided to get the dead one’s sword and then I ran as quietly as I could.

“Bloodthirsty for a maid aren’t you?” commented the harpist from inside my pocket.

“It comes from a steady Greek diet of leprechauns,” I answered.

“Now what? There is still 5 to go! Do you plan on killing them all?”

“Be quiet!” I definitely do not plan or have the energy to kill them all. I just need it to go according to plan. I prayed hard to Ares it would!

When the other 2 cats returned, they saw the blood of their comrades and created such a ruckus that the other 2 who were near the entrance ran to them and left the entrance free! I guess they must be too surprise that their superiority was challenged!

“Here’s your chance, move before they spot you!”

I didn’t need to be told twice. While they were busy being shocked and surprise, I ran with all my might towards the entrance and all the way to where the path leads me. The harpist had said to go to the heart of the cave to Irusan’s chamber. It was so surprising not to face any other honchos inside the place but as I say before, it was not usual for people to be able to even enter the lair. It was not necessary to waste manpow…catpower to guard every single nooks and crooks.

Yay to that then!

I found the chamber and true enough, it WAS guarded by two other gigantic fearsome cat. Now I would just have to wait for the right moment which I know would come soon. One of those dunces outside should be coming in to tell them about the incident. One of them will head out to investigate while another stays to keep guard. One is easier to handle than two.

Sure enough, I didn’t have to wait so long. My calculations was indeed right and in no time only one is left to guard the door. Overconfidence is never a good thing, and this day will show them!

But still, I cannot just walk up to him and decide to hack him to pieces. He probably could do THAT to me in no time before I could even get to him! Via tuta via trita. The path frequented is always the right path. I did it once outside, I will do it again inside.

I whistled…and that attracted him to my hiding place with his sword out. And as soon as he came close, I hacked his legs with the sword (which almost blew me over as it was too heavy!) and again, before he sobered out of his shock, took out my dagger and stab him on the throat. I doubt he was dead—he will be soon enough—but he definitely couldn’t do anything or make any noise now to attract attention.

I took out the harpist and hurried into the chamber. Irusan and his wife were shocked but again, before they could do anything, the harpist has already started to weave his magic. I could see Irusan and his wife getting drowsier and drowsier.

“You! Take one of them!” I said to the Seannachie as I took one of the babies. “Once they have fallen asleep, we are to run as quickly as we could before the rest comes in. Hurry!”

We ran and ran as our legs could carry us, and I thank Ares who must have been smiling over me for the cats outside were now arguing amongst each other to blame for their carelessness. Perhaps they should learn not to be too confident of themselves!

My heart only stopped beating so madly when we reached the town safely. In no time, feast resume: this time we had a double celebration. The birth and the safe homecoming. It was a maddening adventure, but one I would not forget once this mead has settled on me nicely!