... from many sources, and those dealing with the Native population on the island must be especially wary. Conversations had with these people should in no way be assumed to be the unvarnished truth, or have any bearing on scientific reality.

Many examples abound. One native household maintains they have relatives on Mars, while a few others claim to visit moon caverns regularly. An old crone says she was Commodus, Cleopatra, an Etruscan slave, a two-headed cow in the Egyptian 12th dynasty, various fruit bats inside a mammoth gopher-wood boat that didn't touch land for over a month, and a pet flea owned by Adam in the Garden of Eden (before Eve was created †).

Then there is the claim that the fly-speck island to the northwest of our main island, always enshrouded in an odd glowing fog, is Atlantis. Reading one Native narrative:

"... Strange [the fog] because it seems to exist outside of known physics. Always surrounded by a thick cloud bank that prevents spotting it from sea and air, it floats to different locations and time periods; people only stumble upon it in their most dire hour of terrestrial need, but ONLY if their hearts are pure, their intentions honorable, their teeth clean and minty. This explains why youthful maidens from varying time periods and cultures appear within a day or so of each other... Atlanteans themselves have no interest in any newcomers aside from a mild curiosity to see if they bring chocolate; we're sort of their form of entertainment. After a few days they grow bored and drift into the fog, which try as we might, can never be penetrated while clothed... The same happens when travellers from distant lands try to locate Atlantis with ill intentions, though those just washed ashore can find their way to a small settlement, and then only once... if attempting to return with ill will on their minds, they find themselves back on the beach where a raft is fitted with scanty provisions and an urgent need to depart... "

Private Correspondence of Balbas Scriptor, Deviled Egg of Nua Ova to General Rat-atat-Touille, Seggretary of Defense

† No doubt to take Adam's mind off silly things like pet fleas.