Paranoia is a common mental disorder which consists of a false belief that people are "out to get you".

We, at AW anonymous, have developed a cure:
Create a *real* conspiracy that really is out
to get the (former) paranoid. Then it will no longer be a false belief.

We're recruiting agents for this conspiracy. Ideal candidates will have
experience following people, spying on them, tapping phones, plotting
to poison people, or beaming evil thoughts into people's heads.

Applicants with a background in the CIA, KGB, PLO, IRA, Nazi party,
Mafia, or Bavarian Illuminati would be excellent prospects. Experience
in International Banking is a plus.

Applicants should be familiar with the _Protocols of the Elders of
Zion_, Wilson and Shea's _Illuminatus Trilogy_, and the Oliver Stone
movie _JFK_.