"Great," Xena muttered, pushing back her face shield. "Just great. The bastards deserted!" She looked at the gleaming white splash of marble across the valley that was Hagedorn Castle and groaned. Briefly she wondered if Beowulf and Siegfried had been forced to hoof it back to civilization after slaying their monsters. Somehow the stories seemed to skip that part. So she started the long hike back, lugging near 50 pounds of salamander head plus gear with a wounded leg. "The bastards left me to die!" she shouted at the crow, who croaked again and flew off, leaving her utterly abandoned.

The salamander head had stopped dripping fire many hours ago when Xena finally limped across the bridge and up the winding road to the castle gate. Her way was lit by the light of two moons shining brightly overhead.

When she reached the castle wall she set the head down and pounded on the wooden gate with the butt of her sword. "Hail!" she shouted. "Hello?!"

"Gate closes at sunset!" a bored voice drifted down from somewhere above.

"Open up!" Xena called out. "I killed the salamander! I demand to see the King!"

Raucous laughter showered down from both guard tower and castle wall. "Come back in the morning, madwoman!"

"Madwoman?" Xena yelled. "You're right about the MAD part, bub, but you ain't seen nothin' yet!" She'd had several miles of pain to build up anger, and she thought it would feel good to hack something to pieces. She slammed down her face shield and hefted her axe. If they weren't going to open the gate for her, she'd just open it herself.

Her first strike left a three-inch deep gash in the wood and the resounding boom that resulted did much to appease her fury. She stepped back to survey the damage.

Two heads poked out of the guard room window. One peered over the castle wall.

Xena grinned up at them, then stepped forward and swung again. BOOM. BOOM. Wonder how many chops to get a gate open. This might prove more challenging than the Salamandar. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

"Hey! Stop that!" one of the guards shouted.

"Open the gate!" Xena called back. BOOM. BOOM. She pried out a chunk of wood with a satisfying shredding sound. BOOM.

"I'm warning you, woman! Stand back from that gate upon peril of your life!"

Xena heard footsteps running along the castle wall above the gate and urgent shouts from the courtyard beyond. She surveyed her situation. The gate was recessed a couple feet into the wall so it would be extremely difficult for them to hit her with arrows unless they opened the door.

"Let me in, dammit!" she yelled. "I want to see the King!" BOOM. BOOM. Her steel blade cut through the iron bindings with ease.

"I command you, cease and desist!" a guard shouted, his voice coming from a slit in the stone directly overhead. "Stand back!"

"Open up!" Xena replied, holding her ground.

"Get back!"

"Open up!"

"You asked for it!"

There was a sudden rushing sound and hot oil poured out of the stone slit, drenching her. She froze as her helmet deflected it from her face and neck, with most streaming down the shoulders of the suit, covering it with a thick layer of boiling grease.

~ to be continued ~