...by idiots.

It is so hard to dominate the world when one cannot even get good help these days.

I'm sure you can sympathize with my current position. Here I am, the most incredibly potent (and you may take that as many ways as you wish) necromancer in the East, yet I find myself confined to my immediate surroundings in this mountainous kingdom due to the interference of the so-called Queen of Heaven.

Heaven, or Hell, hast no fury like a woman scorned, and there you have the ACTUAL story of my current confinement, not that cock-and-bull nonsense about massacres, ruined kingdoms, and a few loose undead spirits.

But I digress. Needless to say, I am quite alert for any opportunity to destroy her less-than-Heavenly Highness, and, when I hear that she has managed to infuriate her eunuchs (wouldn't you just KNOW that) enough to steal one of the most powerful artifacts, the Lotus Lantern, well, can you blame me for drooling just a tiny bit into my moustache?

Of course not; time travel is the dream of powermongers everywhere, and likely to give me some truly wonderful havoc-filled vacations.

But, can these idiots who call themselves my faithful servants retrieve this item? Not as far as I can tell, and that has been a problem in itself. Not one of them has reported back to me, and they're all under geas, so there's no question that they've run off with one of the boss' wives. (I'm not even sure I have any of those left. Wives all seem to be so very fragile when I play my little games with them, and they've taken to hiding in extremely clever places.)

I suppose I shall have to drag out some of those hard-to-replace ingredients and reanimate some dead super samurai.

*Yawn* A necromancer's work is never done.