"What can I say
now that the course of our overlapping destinies
chose a path of separation;
no action or word is enough
to prove the opposite point
of what you have come to believe...
I reckon this is a feeling similar
to death;morbid and absolute
that criples your initiative
and offers no outlet;
a dead end I myself have led us to...
I retain only guess...
For I guess I am sorry
I mistook you for somebody else,
for forcing you to wear
his face and character.
I guess I regret
not being patient to earn your friendship...
Such haste has proven me unwise
and weak and all the wisdom of the Ancient ways
I read and studied has come to no avail!
My memory,
my nostalgic,
homesick memory
that blurs the vision of my judgement
That clouded your unique truth
All that you did not deserve.
But I am only human
immature,
for I never pretended to be mature
and in grown up situations
childish enthusiasm
can be fatal...
I miss the days of our first encounters
the innocense of things first introduced
the hope and promise of something higher,
all that you embodied...
I took liberty
-I know-
and pressed things,
but I was only a child
going back to the quarters of his neighbooring friend,
eager to tell all he had seen in the days of
their long separation,
I had to tell you!!
My heart was beating so fast in agony
of spilling it all out
I never thought to ask
If you had the time to hear
or wanted to...
or whether it was really you...
and not a reflection of my anticipation...
But I never got the chance
to explain and narrate
because I guess
such enthousiasm
is frightening and suffocating.
So I ended up becoming
-as the poet says-
a burdensome stranger
But my explanation
-if given the chance-
would cut deeper to the core
I hunted that chance...
to no avail..
and reached the opposite point!
I am sorry if I scared you
-I really did not mean to-
I was looking for someone I knew,
perhaps I was wrong
but my purpose was virtuous
-somewhat epic-
But I guess all this does not matter
So I m sorry for knocking on your door,
but most of all I guess I am sorry..."