... folks, our own Culann croaking out..., erm... crooning out a tune of his own about our poster child and resident brainless, Allyne.

Thank you, Culann, we appreciate your efforts *ushers/shoves Culann off stage* Oh look, you have a spot on that lavender tux of yours.

*clears throat*

Ladies and gentlemen, I know that we strive to show you a lot of entertaining acts and bring some frivolity to our mission, sad that it is, but there comes a time when we have to step back and show you scenes that will break your heart.

Sid, could you lower the lights?

*movie begins showing Allyne sitting in a chair cleaning toe jamb from between her toes. Fade to scene of Allyne running through a field with a wooden bucket on her head making strange animal noises. Fade to scene of Allyne eating pudding with a fork.*

*lights come back up*

*sniff* I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. *sob* I just need a moment alone to compose myself.

*walks off stage for a moment*