An Aberdeen laddie called Warren,
Once fell for a lass who was foreign,
He seduced her soon
But she fell in a swoon
When she saw what he kept in his sporran

The sight of her there made him humble,
Tis true, he quite fancied a fumble,
But he'd never made bold
With girls, when out cold,
And soon his resolve gan to crumble

He flapped and he flapped with his hankie
But when she came round she was cranky,
Despite all his labour
She walloped his caber
No chance for him of hanky panky.

The kilt is a lovely invention,
But laddies, if love's your intention,
Take all heed and care
An iron jock strap to wear
For a cure's not so good as prevention