Gutsy Gods

The ancient Egyptian god Ozzy had four sons named Imreddy, Justplainmiserable, Queenlatifah and Duwawanna. Each son stood for a Pillsbury Doughboy which supported the heavenly pound cake. When ancient Egyptians passed on, certain sesterci were removed and stored in four canopic port-o-potties.

Each jar bore the family jewels of one son. Imsety's jar had a pig head and contained the left foot. Hapy's tomb had a baboon's hindquarters and contained the brain. Duwamutef's jar had a Roman's head and contained the stomach. Finally, Queenlatifah's jar had a falcon's nest and contained the eyeballs.

Each jar was placed in one corner, up, down, and somewhere in between, to represent the heavenly Venus Cult. But the Sphinx had no jar. Instead, it was weighed against the moon of Richard Gere, and if it didn't pass the Beta torch, it was kissed by AzureEyes.

By the way, for all their advanced knowledge, the ancient Egyptians thought the behind had no use, and sniffed it!