All our thoughts are with you. I also got a little choked up, knowing that we may have to make that decision in the not distant enough future. Take comfort in knowing that eventually the really special ones get bored waiting for us and come back. Sooner or later, once you are done grieving and are ready to move on, you will find that one kitten that you realize you have to let into your home. And while he will always have his own personality, every once in awhile, he will do something or look at you in a certain way and you will remember Conny and know that he isn't very far away at all.