You know those old stories you hear about how Asian people eat anything and everything, from insects to bird's nests? Well, it's true! Particularly around Spring Festival time, all kinds of weird and wonderful food crawls out from the woodwork (almost literally) and lay ready to be cooked and eaten at the food stalls and restaurants. Apparently, Chez Ewww is no different.

I already had the Testicle Soup yesterday, which was scrump-diddly-iscious, by the way. Today I am going to try some crispy fried critters. Supposedly, the relatively tame dishes are the fried caterpillar and worms. A bit weirder are baked cockroaches and bird embryos (Balut). I've seen Balut eaten before, when I lived in the Philippines. I passed on them then and I am passing now. The prize for the most bizarre food I encountered has to go to the huge goat's testicle, cooked and skewered whole on top of a stick. Puts a whole new slant on the concept of stick food.

Anyway, worms and caterpillars. I have seen people eat them on TV, usually under duress, but I never tried them. That is, not yet. Here is a chance to see if they really do taste like chicken. You never know, I might get picked to go on the next survivor so it would behoove me to explore the bug part of the food chain.

As I was fortifying my nerve, I watched another patron being served some shipworms. The waiter sprayed a thin brown sauce on top after which the diner practically dove in the bowl head first, popping them into his mouth like PEZ candies. I thought, "Hey, people are really liking this stuff." So I waved to the waitress that I was ready to order.

The waitress was an old woman who was short and plump. She obviously had no problems eating insects, fried, dried or otherwise. She approached me with a cart. She didn't speak much English, but with all the dishes laid out, all I had to do was point and smile.

Waterbugs, deep fried and sprayed with some sauce. She said they were crunchy and creamy with a distinct scent of waterbug. ??!! "Uh, think I will pass. What's next?"

Bamboo worms or rod fai duan. They are fondly called the "express train." I forgot to ask her why this was. She said these worms feed only on bamboo. That sounds clean. No dirty mud sucking worms for me, oh no. They are fried, slow roasted and then tossed in a tasty BBQ powder. I might try those.

Another bowl was filled with fat oval shaped bug looking things with visible sections. They looked nasty, like something out of a horror movie. "What are those?" She said they are silkworm cocoons. All right. Silkworms eat mulberry leaves. That's not too gross; just a silkworm. I can handle that.

The grasshoppers did not need explanation. They looked like brown grasshoppers with all parts intact and maybe even some parts I didn't know about. While I was debating about the grasshoppers, another guy came over and ordered all the waterbugs on the cart. Geez, now I feel cheated. Maybe I missed out on something good? Naaaahhh, I'll save that taste adventure for another life, but I better make up my mind before anything else is sold out from under me.

I make my decision. I order a ladle full of everything that is left on the cart. She was so generous with her scoop that I had to tell her that I am new to the bug-and-worm diet, and she could go easy on me. She sprayed the bugs with the sauce. I asked, "What is the sauce?" She smiled and simply replied, "Lara's Fish sauce." Hmmm... is that like the mystery sauce at Taco Hell back in America?

After the old woman wheeled her cart away, I tucked my napkin under my chin and steeled myself for this food caper. The time had come to test my nerve. Which should I try first? The bamboo worm looks the least threatening. Here goes ... To my surprise, it tasted pretty good. It was nutty and crunchy. There were no icky taste or unpleasant smell or feeling leftover in my mouth. I had been afraid that it would be creamy (like the waterbugs), but it was dry. Well, since the bamboo worm wasn't so bad, let's try another worm. One silkworm down the hatch. It was crunchy and nuttier than the "express train."

I saved the best for last, the grasshopper. I closed my eyes and dropped one in my mouth. If I didn't know what it was, it would have to say it was the fried tiny little fish that you get in Korean restaurants. It tasted like fish, not chicken. Without a doubt, one of the best taste sensations at Chez Ewww.