Probably settled by those flakey space travelers from Sirius, they aren't sirius at all. They spent their days levitating hunks of granite into pyramidical formations, and their evenings getting soused on the local non-suds, and creating a Creaky Pre-Archaic Kingdom architectural wonder: the Inverted Pyramids. None are extant today; due to their inherent instability they collapsed well before their permanent Innundation. Pyramids were not attempted again for some centuries after.

ouch !

The farmers of Nefer-Heifer were considered inept. They'd continually do their planting the week before the Inundation, and wonder mightily after why their crops never came up, except maybe a few hundred miles downstream. A few more centuries of trial and error was needed before these people would get it right. By that point, Nefer-Heifer was silted under the Nile, and so they needn't have bothered trying.

These people worshipped the milk-fed veal, preferably still on the hoof. If it wasn't, and a croc was chowing down on the young heifer, they still performed ablutions and worship. After all, another chance at a party!

• 1. Reign of Pharaoh Amun-Jot, unifier of the Two Hectacres. (Egpyt at this point was not yet unified unto One Land, much less Two of them). He ruled 20 years, then abdicated in favor of his favorite daughter, then ran off to found Proto-Rome with Proto-Romulus and Proto-Remus, and incidentally taking on the name of Jottius Firstius.

• 2. Reign of Pharoahess Nefer-Jotette, daughter of her father, as it so happens. She reigned 13 years, before abdicating so as to travel with the Siriusians elsewhere in the galaxy.

• 3. Reign of Outhotep The Magnificently Oversized. Beginnings of the first pyramids. These were just rounded mounds, actually, but people liked the name. He was eaten by a croc. about 11 years into his reign.

• 4. Reign of Pink Ketchup, aka Pimketup. Killed by rampaging and revolting surviving workers, after too many inverted pyramids collapsed without ado or insurance benefits on co-workers. He ruled 7.330518 years.

• 5. Reign of Nutha Isa Ankerchef. His reign lasted about two days. The Nile Innundated the entire village of Nefer-Heifer, and it hasn't been seen since. Some years later, the Minus numbers disappeared, people learned to count forward, and the real Egyptian history is deemed to have begun, but we all owe a debt to these remarkable predecessors!

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(Images, adapted or otherwise, under licence from Jupiter Images (Clipart.com))

Nomarch: Notable Residents: Anknotsetto Senwosret