Genuinely my courtyard, indeed! The courtyard at the TEMPLE OF ISIS, Philae. Originally, this was covered with cedar wood, but the ravages of time and elements have taken their toll in my hallowed halls! (... and BALZAC did not help, as he left his grafitti inside the front door to one\'s left, way high above the temple floor!)
Parties have inquired of my name. \"To be\" or whom not to be... this is what was in question... (when I was first a resident of our fair A.S.). Since Cleopatra has already been \"spoken for\" and Egyptology was my \"main love\", I best ponder the Biblical realm, another forte. I would have best been EVE, if I had my \"druthers\"...and \"things\" sure would have been quite different! Number one, I would have never eaten the \"apple\" as I do not really care for apples in the first place. I am terrified of snakes... so I would have run from the varmint. If I had been Eve women would never have been curs-ed! (Nor would men be from Mars, Women from Venus!) If I had been Eve we would all be \"sitting around\" in the Garden of Eden! ...and remember, it would be I you would have to thank! A-men! ...and since in REAL LIFE besides being a LIBRARIAN, I am a certified ARCHIVIST and RECORDS MANAGER and the definition of what is required of an Archivist states: “To identify, PRESERVE and make available material of archival quality for scholarly research.” ...and this is the philosophy to which I do subscribe– thus the first part of my name. ISIS is after our late “dog-hter” a samoyed; who was named after one of my patron saints (the other being St. Jerome, the patron saint of Librarians). Poor Isis could not live up to her expectations of fertility as she was immediately spayed. Nor, have I been smiled upon by the godess Isis... Ramesses, as I have always been intrigued by the gentleman.
Before you sit down, feel free to empty one of the \"pidgeon coops\" housed along The Nile for a delicacy as you await my arrival, there is (Bast)CATsup/katsup or mustard available for your liking. Do not forget to save me some as a \"offering!\"
\"Menu\", an interesting word.....sounds like cannibalistic devouring of the male species. Sorry, but that will not be served here. With no insult intended to any civilization, I present the M-E-N-U
Mummy tea: aged to perfection those mummified bindings marrinated many milleniums in rich savory embalming fluid and tempted to tasteful tea.
camel burgers: when we were in Cairo we could not follow the address indicated neath \"The Golden Arches\" depicted on the banners hanging from the light poles, as it was written in Arabic. Using the \"old noodle\" I thought \"where or where could a Mickey D\'s be?\"\"ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ...where there are (college) students there will be fast food!\"... and sure enough-- right by The American University at Cairo--McDonald\'s was right where I thought. So, these too are ancient, from 1995, sitting in the freezer for your careful consumption! Don\'t break your teeth! (Incidently, when we came back to The USA, I was told by a former \"cook\" from Cairo that \"no they were not \'waterbuffalo\'\" as I had originally joked but \"yes they were \'camel\'\", my second rationale. I knew they did not taste like good old USDA-grade burgers!)
Since I may be awhile, there are some “goodies” you may want to “cook-up” in the fridge. Here is a recipe from “Dottie Rudolf, a Women of Redeemer Lutheran Church in Newton, New Jersey in their 1978 recipe book (page 96) that you may wish to conjure up–(those Lutherans’ sure have a sense of humor)...
”Elephant Stew
1 medium size elephant
2 rabbits (optional)
1 box salt
1 bay leaf
dash pepper
Cut elephant into small bite size pieces (this should take about 2 months.) Cover with enough water to make gravy. Add seasonings. Cook over a kerosene fire for 4 weeks at 475 degrees or until meat is tender.
*This will feed 3,800 people. If more are expected add the rabbits, but only if necessary. Most people do not like to find hares in their stew.\"
Bon appetite!
Chocolate is a Vegetable:
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derivedfrom either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
If you\'ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you\'re eating it too slowly.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot >car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It\'ll take the edge off your appetite, and you\'ll eat less.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don\'t they actually counteract each other?
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Put \"eat chocolate\" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you\'ll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn\'t that handy?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can\'t let that happen, can you?
REMEMBER: \"Stressed\" spelled backward is \"desserts.\"
At the beginning of your entry in this room, within the framework of the evolution of my name, I explained my “need for preservation”. Since we are discussing gastronomy, now is the perfect time to share with you to ponder the words of wisdom from Anna Westbrook Caskey and Edna Stamp, (cut-out from an old Orange County New York recipe book, of which I do not own but have copied their entry) and their
RECIPE FOR PRESERVING LOVE
Of love, two googly portions take, and remove the rind of doubt, and all the seeds of jealousy and discontent take out. Then add the spice of thoughtfulness and salt of constancy, the essence of devotion and the oil of harmony. Pour in the sweets of merriment - the spirit of good cheer, and flavor with a dash of wit and mix till they adhere. Then seal up tight with ties that bind and naught can rend apart. Then keep forever simmering in the warmth of the heart.
...and something to READ as you wait:
Cracked Pots
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After 2 yrs of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don\'t get full value from your efforts, \" the pot said. The bearer said to the pot, \"Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot\'s side? That\'s because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you\'ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house?
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We\'re all cracked pots.
But it\'s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You\'ve just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!
Blessings to all my crackpot friends.
