Life or Something Like It

* Lotus Horemheb

Life or Something Like It

January 7 , 2006

Middle-Aged Angst

Posted at 01:00 EST

Wish you would be the one crowding
me out of bed and not
The blonde girl with two cats
in a strangle-hold.
Staring at me with those green crescent eyes
Those eyes that are thinking

"I'm going to F#$% you up as soon as I get free...."

I wish I could just go to sleep
without staring at the ceiling for hours,
or trying to tire myself out
at the computer
or resorting to taking a dose
of that cough syrup laced with coedine.

'Cause then you know I wake up with a hangover.

The rattle of the heater turning on
the jingle of a cat collar
two boys sneaking around
behind closed doors
to play video games
thinking their Mother is really THAT stupid

It still a holiday - Pick your battles

But then I'm back to staring at the ceiling
Missing your snoring
Never thought the sound could be so beautiful
Simply because I know
You're there.

December 31 , 2005

OMG - I passed

Posted at 20:00 EST

I can't believe I passed Statistics. Going into the Final it was statistically improbable that I would pass with the minimum "C" requirement. My son deleted most of my final 2 hours before the deadline and there was absolutely no way I could have passed.

And then final grades came out.

I got a "C".

What?

The only thing I can figure is that the Prof. graded on that dang bell curve he was trying to get us to figure out how to calculate. If everyone else sucked as badly as I did at it - I would get a "c" (I rightly deserved and "F" on a standard grading system).

Cool for me - but what does that say for the Professor's teaching?

Ah, for now, I keep my mouth shut, smile and pass on by, hopefully never to take it again. If I need some numbers crunched in research - there are specialists to do that for me.....some unsuspecting Math major.....hm........

December 17 , 2005

STATISTICS NONSENSE

Posted at 02:00 EST

I HATE STATISTICS!! I HATE STATISTICS!! I HATE STATISTICS!! I HATE STATISTICS!! Did I mention I HATE STATISTICS!!???

December 3 , 2005

Things to be thankful for...

Posted at 21:00 EST

What a cliche title! But I couldn't think of anything else to title it - so there you go. Lots of things to be thankful for this year. Health and family being the first and foremost. Again cliche, but as I type this, I listen to hubby and daughter singing "Santa Claus is coming to town" together while they make dinner. Daddy's headed off to sea in a few days and these brief moments are those to be thankful for.

Friends - on and off AW. AW has been a fantastic wealth of contact with people I would have not normally ever met and what an experience that has been. I have friends around the world that I've never met yet am as fond of them as I would be of IRL friends. MAybe because when you move, you can move them with you....who knows. But to all my friend here - old and new - you are what makes AW great and you have blessed me this year beyond all you could imagine. Thanks for being there.

July 8 , 2005

Ironies in Life

Posted at 13:00 EST

I find it interesting that a year after saying goodbye to my husband on that big boat - having him gone for more than half a year - getting him back home - a year later, here we are in the same "boat", so to speak.

He just left for another cruise - another tour. It's the workup session first, so it's only a month, but I feel that sense of foreboding setting in again. Unlike most of my peers here, I'd rather have him home. I kinda like him.

Admiral Stockdale died a few days ago. That's not a good thing, however, beause they're holding the funeral on the USS Reagan, they have to go out to sea for a few days, pull back into port, vacate the ship for visiting dignitaries and then get back on the ship and go back out to sea. A pain in the rear end. Nice thing is if I can scrounge up the money to go down, we'll meet him in LA and go to the LACMA's Tut exhibit a month earlier than planned.

February 28 , 2005

Fairies

Posted at 15:00 EST

The dog barks like jackhammers on my mind
Jarring me from sleep,
It feels like a jar crushed up over my head
Teeth warm and fuzzy
As it some fairy had knitted socks over them in the night
Damn fairies

Memories of the night flood my brain
Feeling rather like the dogs bark
Sharp, jarring and painful
But the pleasantness of the cool summer breeze
Over my naked skin
Where are my clothes?

The moonlit night
Was it last night?
Jack Daniels and Fat Momma, had a long talk
Of life and love and the taste of a warm burn
Of a finely aged whiskey
That and clothing was completely unnecessary

I think she agreed with him
I’m not sure
But the cool summer breeze certainly felt good
Against the naked sagging
Middle aged skin

I’m certain HER skin doesn’t sag
That perfectly toned body of a 20-something
The flowing blonde hair
Bleached, of course
But then, there isn’t anything inside that head
So she had to have SOMETHING that is her crowning glory

She hasn’t had four kids
Just watch, she’ll sag and stretch
But she’ll still have that bubble on top of her shoulders
And he’ll watch his youth be taken from her body
As gravity takes it toll
C’est la vie
Damn fairies

May 27 , 2004

Adjusting to Life Without

Posted at 01:00 EST

So here we are. Only 3 days into 6 months and today has not been so great. Em cries for her Daddy - the boys go out of their way to ignore me. I explode. And rather easily too, I'll admit.

We took Tim down to San Diego on Saturday so he could board ship for the 4-6 month cruise somewhere in the Pacific.

The boys thought the tour of the ship was cool. A floating city on the Pacific - all painted gray. How quaint and homey. Even the insides were painted gray. I don't know how much more dreary you could make it without going stark raving mad.

I still don't think it's sunk in with the children. 6 months is a long time. Perhaps I'm dwelling on the time frame too much. Funny, women have been commiting their men to the sea for centuries - why should I be any different? Some of their men never returned and they survived. I suppose I will too...

Painful - how many times can your heart be torn from your chest? The pain is still raw, but then it's only been 3 days.