You are a moldy towell. I knew it!

Sorry, I just thought that quizzes get a little ridiculous, and this would be a perfect quiz for ME!

(Or rather, what I do when I am not on here or at work.)

Some people ask me, "Vort, what do you do when you are not logged on to AW?" And I simply say, "Hey. AW is not the only thing in the world to me. I mean, I have alot of other stuff that I like to do. Luckily enough, I just bought a digital camera so I can show all you lucky people what I do when I am not logged on to AW.

FOr one, I just bought a PSP (playstation portable) so I spend alot of time on that playing.



Here is me playing the PSP.

I also like to get outside and do things as well.



I also like to ride my bike.



I also like to play golf.



Then I will check on my garden.

But not everything I do is outside. For instance, I also drive a car.



I drive my car to the bar.



Once I get to the bar, I will play darts.

So there you have it folks. No more worrying about me being on here too much. As you can see, I have other activities that are healthy and get me away from the computer.

I ran over a cat tonight. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were just a cat, since I have ran over a cat before, but this wasn't quite a cat. It was a kitten, no more than 4 weeks old.

Vicky and I were on our way to pick up some dinner when I was pulling out of the driveway when I heard a blood-curdling scream. I knew at once that I had ran over some part of a cat, and I desperately wished it was the tail of the cat, or maybe a paw, but no. I backed out farther to see that I had ran over the entire kitten. Is there anything worse than killing a kitten, aside from killing a puppy or something else cute and cuddly? I think not.

So I asked Victoria if she would mind if I got out and took care of this problem, and of course she had no qualms with it. I called my oldest son out to come help me with it, and we scooped up the body with a shovel and I put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the garbage can. Not a very dignified burial for this creature, but it was the best I could come up with on such short notice. Perhaps if I had world enough and time, I could have given the kitten a proper burial, or even a viking burial, but I didn't so I gave it a ghetto kitten burial, in the garbage can.

It isn't as if this is the only thing that had happened this week though. It all started off when the car started making an odd noise. I looked at it and thought it was the power steering pump, so I diligantly went and bought a new one, took the old one off, figuring that it would be an easy fix. I got the old one off with no problem, then came the hard part. I had to change the pulley. "No problem" I thought. My dad has a set of pullers at his house. When I went there to look for them, they were no where to be found. I asked my dad where they were and he had no idea either. It appears as if someone had "borrowed" them and never returned them. So now I was in a conundrum. How would I get the pulley off. The only way I could think of was by heating up the pulley, thereby expanding the metal around the shaft and then hitting the shaft with a punch and driving it out. Well I got it off and put it on the new one, then replaced the pump. Started up the car and...it still made the sound. So I took it into the mechanic and they said they didn't know where it came from, but they would have to crack open the engine, which would cost a couple of hundred bucks, not to mention whatever was wrong with it, which would be another couple hundred. Just what I need.

Then Victoria was at work, when she called me saying that she had slipped and fell and twisted her ankle. Not too serious, I thought, until I took her into the doctor the next day and he said that it was more than a sprain, but she had actually broken her ankle. So now she is laid up in bed for a week, and the car is somewhere else so I can't take a closer look at it to find out what the problem is. There are also some other things that haven't been going my way, but rather than bore you with details, I will leave it at that.

Although this may sound like a "poor me pity party post", I tend to look at these events as growing experiences. I know now that I really need to look around the vehicle before pulling out of the driveway, which I will from now on. I also am learning much more about cars, which is always a positive thing. I know now that I really hate working on cars, and I will take it to a mechanic first before throwing money at parts. As far as Vixie's ankle, it is simple. She has been working long hours, sometimes over 12 hours a day, and this gives her a much needed vacation.

So, when things aren't going your way, you always have a choice. There are two different roads you can choose to take. One being the pity party road, where you dwell on the negative things and end up getting more upset, or you can take the road where everything happens for a reason by some force beyond your control. These things happen, and the best way to think about them are that while things are going bad, they will definately not stay this bad. Everything is bound to get better. I have dealt with bad things in the past and I feel that those instances help me to deal with more bad things that are to come.

If it weren't for the bad times, then the good times wouldn't be appreciated as much. Because life works off the polarities of itself, just like the positive and negative. When you hold a magnet up to another, if you have the poles opposite, then they will push each other away. But if you just turn one around, they will connect and become one magnetic force, and become much stronger in the process.

I've finally quit cold turkey. I remember when I was in the process of quitting, people would ask me, "Vort, what are you trying to quit?" And I would tell them, "I am quitting cold turkey."

I used to smoke and drink and do drugs. I still do, but I used to also. The only difference now as opposed to now is that now I do all these things without having to eat a piece of cold turkey before I do these things.

Another interesting thing about me is that I was named after my Grandpa. My name is Vortigern Grandpa Aedui.

Some things just aren't that funny anymore.

Like "Mmmmmoi" and I will do it with tongue this time.

I think we should let them have their statue back considering how Americans are so rascist and anti-European, but they are so considerate when they are.

Since I am Spanish and have a Spanish name, I love hoe when people are saying derogatory remarks how they get me to back them up. In order to sum up the rest, I will let the Great Sage Francis tell the rest.

I used to think that rappers had it figured out
Brass Monkey, St. Ides, Old English, and Guiness Stout
Once a man twice a boy with a choice of vice or voice of spite
Not enough poisons to pick to enjoy this life
Now I thought suicide was a suburban myth
I couldn't see my own hands being the ones I'm murdered with
That is until I travelled this world a bit
I understand now if I lose my nerve I'll get the girl to do it!
She heard the music but preferred the person, she's worth it
The only one I left behind the curtain to work with
Pushin' buttons and playin' with levers
We'll stay together as long as I'm honest in my songs
(Radio) Suckers never play this
Scared shitless of dismissing clear channel playlists
Poorly developed, yet highly advanced
The black music intertwined with the white man's line dance.

It's not only a time I'm kept
Busy with shivers and cold shakes
Sitting on snow banks
Waiting to be delivered some soulmates
Or wait
Lift and tuck my fate for several levels
Fill my body till they send me an empty face with the head of devils
My breath resembles the smell of flowers
Yanked from life, placed in a vase
Sits and wilts and watch 'em dies in the name of grave mistakes
That we all make
Believe that we're getting by treating ourselves wrong
Throw me a reindeer John letter party
And ill be there with bells on
Hell spawn
So if he calls the city hall
They still got the gall
To blame the victory on biggie smalls
From strip malls
To strip clubs
They slip drugs
Into the drinks that kids love
Tell us to drink up and get buzzed
This is the buzz kill jump into the saddle
Emerge from the dust kicked up in the uphill battle
With my guns drawn and sword out
Pointed towards the couthouse
I sort out words from my war torn mouth
I disassociate the actions with their meanings
Songs from "ends justify their means" mentality
Plus I'm bleeding
Give me a bandaid a band that can play
A fanbase with hearing aids and a voice like a hand grenade
I pull the wool over their vision
Pull the pin and push it in 'em
Using women as a pin cusion
A super villian
With some war paint and jokes done in poor taste
We'll see who laughs last all the way to foreign banks
I was B-boyin' in my former body
Singing all the songs at parties
Now I'm like don't let nobody
Through the door in the hotel lobby
I'd wear Armani if they endorse me
So people who are poor can rob me
Then forcefully sex me up
Color me confused when they paint issues black and white
Resuscitate their grey matter right back to life
It's my destiny she wants me she beckons
She left me for dead but death didnt want no sloppy seconds
I'm certified fresh
Our freedom kissed the French for their political dissent
Like *mwah* I do it with tongue this time
And take that bovine blood out your wine
And take that statue back to the lab it was created at
Your huddled masses yearning to breath free
Take 'em back!
Your homeless tempest-tossed to me
Take 'em back!
The U-S-A has cracked

I post a few comments about how the election was won by cunning and deception and I get alot of messages from "cool" conservatives saying that it was a fair election. Of course it was a fair election, the republicans used moral values as a stepping stone for their campaign.

I keeping forgetting that America is made up of religious fundies who claim that they vote for a candidate based on moral values. I suppose that in the the eyes of the conservatives, Bush is the more morally sound choice.

This is what flummoxes me. Apparently a person who lies to the American public has become acceptable as a morally sound person. A person who bombs thousands of innocent Iraqis and murders women and children is a morally sound person.

The campaign was a mess and there was more mudslinging on either side than I have ever seen before. The worst I saw during this last campaign was when DIck Cheney was campaigning in the battleground state of Hawai'i on Halloween, and Lynn Cheney brought her granddaughter up in a skeleton costume and said "She dressed up like John Kerry." Ha ha.

Hey wait a minute, I thought she was the one who said she didn't want her family brought into politics?

Another ridiculous statement that Cheney said was "If John Kerry was President during the Cold War, Communism would still be rampant." Of course it was all the elder Bush who brought down communism. It had nothing to do with economics of communism not working.

Well, we still have to put up with 4 more years of the idiot twins in the White house, and then it will be all over soon.

To leave of with my favorite Bushism, "I have made the world securer." And this is from the guy who wants to revamp education. For some reason, I can't take someone seriously about education when they use words like "securer".

From a very reliable news source
Border Patrol Helps to Stop High-Flying Illegals . . .

Mexican illegal aliens are now entering the United States by flying -- but they're not taking airplanes, they're being flung over the border courtesy of giant slingshots, and U.S. immigration officials admit there's nothing they can do to stop it.

"We're stymied," says Roy Attenborough, a top U.S. Customs officer.

Mexicans who want to enter the U.S. illegally have either had to sneak through border crossings, or take long and dangerous journeys, traversing desert and wild rivers. The giant slingshot, set up about 200 yards from the U.S. border, sends them flying into Texas, where they land -- usually -- on giant mattresses.

The "slingbacks," as they're called, are then brought to a nearby farm where they work.

In addition to being quicker and safer, Mexicans are finding that coming into the country via slingshot has another advantage. "It's fun!" says a man who recently took the trip.

"Some of the illegal aliens even say they want to go back to Mexico so they can 'do the slingshot' again!" says Jorge, one of the trip coordinators, who declined to give his last name.

"We discourage them from unnecessarily repeating the trip," he says.

But U.S. immigration officials think it's anything but fun.

"It's an impossible situation," says Attenborough. "The first time I encountered this, I was standing on the border, and suddenly I heard this loud cry of 'Ayy Carambaaaaa!' over my head. I looked up, and this guy was flying through the air, holding on to his baseball cap.

"A minute later, I saw two big duffel bags following him." Customs agents are at a loss.

"The only way to stop them is to shoot them out of the sky," says Attenborough. "And we obviously can't do that, for political reasons."

Lately there's been a new innovation -- entire families flying together!

"They bundle up to four people into a 'family pack' and they all hurtle over, crying 'Ayy Carambaaaaa!' together!" says Attenborough.

Ironically, the slingshot service began because it was getting more difficult to get into the U.S. by other means.

The slingshots are mounted on wheels so that they can be set up from different mobile locations all the time, confounding US Customs officials who can't predict where the immigrants will land. The slingshot operators communicate with the men in charge of the giant mattresses -- which are also mounted on wheels -- via walkie-talkie, so that they can stay ahead of customs officials.

"It's very sophisticated," says Attenborough.

The new transportation system is not without its dangers. In three instances the two sides didn't communicate properly, and the Mexicans landed on hard ground.

"It's a new technology," Jorge says. "When airplanes were first invented, they crashed a lot, too."

Still, many Mexicans are willing to take the risk. "Besides," says a recent arrival, "it's a great way to see the country."