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Celtic Christmas Carols
these are the butchered versions, not the traditional ones. Copied from my holiday library
This one is a personal favorite of mine, as I wrote it with friends:
On the Twelfth Day of Yule my Rig Fennidh gave to me, Twelve Celts a laughing Eleven bards a singing, Ten Horns of Mead, Nine SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Eight willing wenches! Seven Armies clashing Six pints of Whiskey Five Torcs of Gold Four Roman slaves Three flats to the arse Two Viking broadswords and a punch shield made just for me and next, another personal composition. Here we come a jostling across the field so green, Oh here we come a thundering, a scare to be seen! blood and war, come to you and to you beheadings too and God save you and grant us a great victory and God grant us a great victory What? That doesn't put you in the giving spirit? How about this one..... God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay remember elves are tasty in a sweet and juicy way we'll roast them gently on a spit and season them with sage Oh tidings of elfmeat and good mead elfmeat and mead oh tidings of elfmeat and good mead. and finally (well, finally until I'm inspired to write more) we have the following entry. Good King Wenseslas looked down On the feast of Steven Where the sheep were bleating loud, the Scots behind them steamin' "Where have all the real men gone, the ones who like their lasses blessed with silky raven locks and not woolen tresses?" No, please, don't go. Here, I'll sing one of my favorite borrowed songs. This if for the weekend warriors of the bunch.... Silent knight, holy knight on the ground, lost the fight beaten by a large broadsword yielded by a muscular lord Sleep in heavenly peace sleep in heavenly peace Silent knight, holy knight herald call "hold the fight!" medics bring a stretcher out this fellow's fought his final bout Look at that dent in his helm! Look at that dent in his helm! Silent knight, holy knight net time he won't call light. better to die than it is to lie his just hit harder on his next try rhinohiding doesn't pay rhinohiding doesn't pay *crickets chirping* Oh well, more mead for me. |
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